The Dream: The Beginning

       I saw me go through a funnel like organ and as I slipped through the rear end, I found myself where it all began... my classroom. We were waiting for the Food and Nutrition teacher to come for the class. (By the way just so that you don't get confused: I am in SS1, Art class. I am quite big in stature with the right shape. So I attract every being with a d*ck. My beauty and charms work just great. And by charms I mean Juju. My dad is the Chief Babalawo so I am highly protected. I even know some stuffs for myself. So... I'm good *winks*) Since the teacher wasn't here yet, I was exploring the new Blackberry Z10 that Alhaji Mumuni just bought for me. (And by the way without charms, his name works well for him. Mumu!!) My 'so called friends' (every girl in class except Tumise) surrounded my desk and kept asking questions about the phone. "What kind of mirror is that?" one of them asked. I just ignored her since she literally lived under a rock. "Its the latest BBZ10." someone else answered. "Which of your Chiefs or Alhajis bought this one for you?" another asked "When will you even introduce us to one of your Alhajis sef? Me too I want the latest things na... its not fair o" they kept on talking. I barely answered anyone of them. 'Do these fools think it is easy to be me?' I thought. 'Look at these skinny idiots! Fools of under developed nomenclature! This stinky albino is even talking! Hmmmm! I laugh in Spanish! I will just give her to my father as sacrifice now! Mscheeew.' Then I finally replied in the nicest tone ever "Patience now my dears. You know I'll surely introduce you..." "Don't listen to her!! Give your life to Christ! What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Store up your treasures in Heaven because you don't know when Jesus Christ is coming back" Tumise interrupted.
         I was mad. Why would this small rat just choose me of all people to pick on? Me!!! She no dey fear?? That at the snap of my fingers I can take her life?!"How dare you! What gave you the effrontery to interrupt me? Are you crazy? Is it by force? Or are you just jealous that I am not miserable and ugly as you are? Look at how wretched looking you are all in the name of your Jesus. I'm a big girl and if moving with your Jesus means I must be as wretched as you, then save him all for yourself! Mscheew!" I ranted. She just smiled and said "I might be wretched looking here because this is not my home. I know that I have many treasures stored up in Heaven for me. Even the Bible says that it is easier for a cow to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God. So at least I am sure of my eternity." The whole class went crazy in excitement at the brewing fight since they all knew that I don't know how to tolerate nonsense. Different types of exclamatory remarks escaped their lips which only aggravated my anger. So na me no com get place for eternity abi wetin? She don enter am!! I was muted by the anger that I felt. She however continued with tears in her eyes this time. "Rapture can come anytime even now. Please just accept Jesus Christ. Please". At this point I was breathing in carbon-dioxide and breathing out oxygen. Oh no she did not!! Just imagine that pig crying for me! Ah! I was literally on fire. " You've not started crying o! I will kill you so that you can finally go to your permanent home and meet your Jesus!" I yelled as I charged towards her with the others watching and cheering. She just sat there quietly with a strange kind of peace that only turned my guts inside out. As I raised up my hand to light up her face and adjust her crossed eyes back to normality with a slap, something strange happened. A sound like never before was heard. It sounded like a very excited band projected by all the microphones and amplifiers in the whole world combined. (Yes! It was that loud!) After it was a strange silence. It felt like the whole world had stood still. All that happened in a split second. Well I cared less since I was really only bent on slapping Tumise. "Tumise!" She had disappeared. "Where the hell did that imp go to now?" She is damn fast is running tho. Arrgh!! I screamed but the whole class was as confused as I was. Suddenly a pandemonium broke through the whole school. As usual my nosy classmates ran outside. I stayed back to search the class for the rat (Tumise) but all I found was her school uniform, shoes, and every single piece of clothing that she wore to school. I let out a loud and long laughter. that idiot has come back to her senses. She was so scared of me that she ran outside naked. at the thought of that I paused. I can't be that bad a person now, she did not have to strip to run away. Maybe she is the one that the whole school is laughing at now. I felt bad for a moment and then shook it off and concluded that she deserved whatever happened to her since she chose to pick on me every time. I let out a sigh of relief and went back to my BB Z10. I was just wondering why the noise had gotten worse when the albino came in, threw herself on the floor and yelled in tears. "Rapture! Rapture just took place and we are all left behind. Only Tumise was taken!!"

The Dream: That Night

     ... My eyes then flew open and sucked in the darkness. But as I screamed for fear of what I unknew, my ears were deafened to my own voice. I was drenched to the very mattress in my cold, thick sweat. My body shivered from the heat that I felt. It was like someone stole one of Hell's heaters and installed it in my room. My tongue was twisted between my chattering teeth. My soul felt void and my spirit numb. As I tried to reach out for my duvet for some sense of protection, I couldn't feel my hands. My heart beat took the toll of a drum roll as the silence cut through the atmosphere like a crashing helicopter. "What's happening?" I thought within me. "Am I dead?" Just then I felt a hot liquid steal out of my body, I had urinated on myself! "Whew!! At least I'm alive!" I jubilated. But I still did not understand. "Why am I feeling so 'dead' if I'm alive? It must be that stupid Tumise! She thinks her juju is stronger than mine! I will show her!" 

   Tumise is my christian class mate. She is my definition of a pest, disturbing me to give my life to Christ. 'He'll protect you and provide for you' she says. 'Who cares about your Christ?' I yell at her. 'I am well protected by my father's charms and my Aristoes take better care of me than your damn Christ ever can! Fucking Holy Mary oshi! Mscheeew' I snap back at her. Many times I don't even let her start. I just walk away and leave her shaking her head. As far as I am concerned the so called 'Christ' that she talks about is a fable. At the mere thought of her I became angry. As tried to utter some of the chants and incantations that my father taught me, I suddenly bit my twisted tongue so hard that it bled. I was in shock and in too much pain to try it again. "Argh! What was that! And why is this happening to me?" I cried but my tears failed me. 

     Just then, I felt a terrible migraine and like flashes of lightening or strobe, images of the dream I had came alive before me and gradually I felt my soul being sipped away by a wind-like force. I stuggled and cursed but my whole body was still. I was exremely infuriated so I gave up and not long after, somehow through the darkness, I  saw my own body. "Eewww!"  I yelped. I looked like an albino goat who had just seen its black kitten of a child!  Just imagine! I did not even realise I was naked! *sigh* I was still hanging in the air when I felt  a cloak cover me. I came back to reality. I was so scared I started begging " Please! Whoever you are. If I've offended you, I am sincerely sorry. Please just make me normal again." I was crying already. I got no reply instead I was carried by the same force into a tunnel. An eerie whisper floated into my ears saying: "You are to live this dream and this is just The Beginning!"